To Allison: a letter from your mother.

My Dear Allison,

I was looking at you this morning, happy as can be (you're always happy) thinking what a beautiful child you are. Your beauty is not only because of your sparkly blue eyes, your long thick blond hair, or your cute little dimple you have (you inherited that from dad). You're beautiful Alli because of who you are on the inside also.

Dad blessed you when you were a baby that you would be happy and social, and sometimes we laugh because maybe he 'blessed you a little too much' with that. You've always had a great knack for bring joy to people. When you were a baby you would dazzle them with your smile, when you were a toddler you would do it with hugs and kisses and now being older you do it by seeking out others, being aware of feelings, and having a genuine desire to help out. I find that I can't truly describe what a happy person you are, but I can guarantee if you ask anyone who knows you, friends and family alike they would all agree that you are.

I love Alli that you are so helpful. I have seen in the last little bit that you really try hard to help me out, even when you don't want to. When I went into parent teacher conferences last week two things your teacher said to me were one; you're always happy and two; you are so helpful. Thanks for helping out with the baby, getting me diapers, pajama's or whatever else I might need and thanks for helping out with your sisters, getting them bowls of cereal, toast, or playing with them on the trampoline. Thanks for comforting them when they're sad, and even though I ask you not to do it, thanks for 'momming' them a bit. You are very lucky to have such great sisters.

Alli sometimes I'll ask you to do things and you'll get distracted very easily. I'll ask you to go and brush your teeth and I'll find you petting your dog, I'll ask you to run and get something and I'll find you petting your cat. I'll tell you to do your homework and I'll find you on the computer. I'll ask you to clean something up and find it half way done and find you singing High School musical songs with your sisters, and when I ask you why I can tell that you honestly did forget. Even though I get upset about these things Alli, I still love that you can do this. I love that you always can find joy in our home life, in all of the little things our Heavenly Father has blessed us with.



Alli, I love that all of the sudden you'll announce 'Family fun time in 10 minutes' and require all of us to attend. I love that you remind us to have FHE, and I love that you get sad when we don't follow through and do it. I love that before you were 8 you always wanted to bare your testimony at church and were upset when we wouldn't let you. I remember Grandpa Rentz let you do it in his ward and I could tell how happy you were to have done it. I love that you love animals, although I don't love them now, when I was your age I loved them just as much as you, they were great friends to me, I would dress my cats up and drag them all around. I love that even when you get in trouble you bounce right back and can be happier then happy 5 minutes later. I love that you try so hard in school. I love that you enjoy being the big sister. Alli I even love that every time you get out of the shower we have to tell you to get back in and finish washing the shampoo out of your hair (every time). I love that I will say "Alli there's something on your face." and you can go into the bathroom and wash your face and come out with it still dirty (every time also). I love these things because they show a little about your personality and I love your personality.

Alli I would hope that you can always be the happy person you are now. I hope that you will always be able to find joy in the small things. I hope that you will be able to bounce back quickly from upsetting times and I hope that you'll always be a great big sister. I hope that you'll always have a strong desire to bare your testimony. I hope you will always try hard in school and that you will be very successful at it and I hope that maybe you might get a little bit better at washing your face and hair. :)


You are such a beautiful daughter. Your father and I have been very blessed by having you in our lives. We were so young when we had you and we really had no clue about life. We have learned so many valuable lessons through you. You taught us the importance of temple marriage, and the beauty of eternal families. Through you Alli, we learned the feeling of unconditional love and during your infancy we learned how to grow up, how to become hard workers, and how to take on responsibilities. You have made us better people.

I love you Allison.

Love Mom

Apart

Oh Tommy, I hate it when you're away on business trips! I'm sorry I take it out on you, even though it is your responsibility to do it and your mainly doing it for us to bring home a paycheck. I guess I have to admit it's not your fault that you're away but I hate it when you're gone!

I love it when you're home. I love that you'll come home and keep the kids out of my hair while I am making dinner, how you'll hold Rainier the rest of the evening so I can get a little break from our cute baby. I love how you change his diapers when you're home and get him ready for bed, it's so nice after changing 16.9 diapers a day not to have to do one or two. I love how you tease the girls about their teachers eating paste, and I love it when you help clean up after dinner and do dishes. I love that you're so helpful when your home. I hate it when you're gone.

I love it when you come home and tell me all about your day. I love that you talk about derivatives and stocks, about the libor and federal rate cuts, and you do it with such enthusiasm. Then I shake my head in a daze not really catching on to all of it but you still want to share your day with me. I love it when you ask me about my day and act interested when I tell you I got the best bargain on some cute clothes, or tell you about the latest drama with the girls. I love that you'll watch my dumb decorating shows with me and comment on all the kooky people on it, you always have something funny to say. I hate it when you're gone.

I love it that you help me get the girls to bed, that you'll read scriptures and insist that we stop on the top side of the other page while I like to end at the bottom of the page read. I love that you encourage the girls to pray, and teach them how to think it through and say meaningful prayers. I love that you rub my back every night to help me fall asleep and I love that you won't turn on the main lights to get ready when you're up so early to go to work. It's so kind of you to shave in the closet. I love how sometimes I wake up to go to the bathroom and I see you kneeling in our closet saying prayer, and I love how you'll wake me up out of my comatose state to say prayers and give me a kiss before you leave. I hate it when you're gone.

Thanks for calling me so many times when you're away to check on me, to let me know you made it to the airport, that you're waiting for your flight to leave, that you've landed and that you're on to your next destination. Thanks for calling to say goodnight to the girls and not being mad when I tell you I already put them to bed 'because they needed it.' Thanks for calling to say goodnight, even though I already talked to you twenty minutes before and thanks for calling to check in on me in the morning. Thanks for not being upset because I called you at 1:30 in the morning to tell you I couldn't get the baby to sleep. You could have said "What am I supposed to do about that here." But you didn't, you were kind and sympathetic, you gave me good suggestions, and you know what they worked, the bugger went to bed after I talked to you. Thank you for being my balance. I love you. I hate being apart. I'll see you tonight.

Picture Perfect

I have this problem of looking at things and thinking, oh that is so beautiful/cool/amazing I have to take a picture of that, only to take a picture of it and it never comes close to the actual thing. AAAAHHHH it makes me want to scream.

Ever since Rainier was born he smiles like crazy when he is drifting off to sleep. I love it. He'll open his eyes a bit, look both ways and then smile, then do it over and over again. Except for when I'm trying to record it, he'll do it once, and then wait forever and do it again. Needless to say I have about 15 mini videos of him sleeping, which smiling or not I still love them so I now have them filed on my computer. I wonder if I'll love those videos of a sleeping baby later as much as a I do now.

So if you have any desire and some patience, you can view this long video of Rainier pulling off some of his tricks. It happens shortly in the beginning and a little bit more at the mid to end. Don't feel guilty if you don't watch it, I don't know if I would watch someone elses baby snoozing in la-la land. :) Oh and yes, that is my heavy breathing in the back ground...enjoy that too.

So to prove my point of not being able to catch the beauty of my baby view the pictures below.

Definitely not picture perfect and not capturing the essence of the moment. Maybe I need to take a photography class, or better yet maybe I need a new camera...hint hint Tommy boy.

Anyhow I can't leave this blog on a sour note so here are a few cute pictures.

Rainier all ready for his first day at church.

Proud Papa

And of course, Tommy letting his boy rock out early on in life.

And the final weigh in is...

I've had quite a few people ask me how much Rainier weighs now. The truth of the matter is I have no clue. They usually get weighed at birth, a few days later at their first Dr's appointment, and then you wait for a whole month to pass until you have your next Dr's appointment. So I decided I'd find out before that.

I got my handy mail scale out that I had used to weigh all of my signs that I used to make before I shipped them out. Got a big bowl, and there you have it; Jolene's homemade baby scale.

5 lbs 15 oz at birth

5 lbs 7 oz at first dr's appt

7 lbs 10oz the other night.

Way to go Rainier.

All I want for Christmas....

The other night Dentist Thomas, aka Dad, had a good two hour battle with Claire why she should let him pull her right top tooth out. It went something like this.

Dad: "Claire it's so ready, its right there, it's dangling, let me pull it please."

Claire: "I know it's ready I'm scared."

Dad:"Claire there is no reason to be scared. Haven't I done this before, and aren't you fine?"

Claire: "Yes but I'm stiiiiiiiillllll scared." sob sob, tear tear.

Dad: "Come on Claire just let me do it. Have I ever done anything to hurt you? You're my little girlie, why would I ever want to hurt you? All I want is the best for you. Pleeeeaaassssee Claire."

Claire: "Nooooooooooo. I am scared."

Dad: "Come on, I'll give you six dollars."

Claire: "I want the six dollars, but I don't want you to pull out my tooth."

This goes on until I am bugged and tired enough to tell them both to kindly go to bed.

Claire: sobbing "I'm not going to bed I am scared that I'll swallow my tooth like Madison." (apparently a girl in her class who actually did swallow her tooth)

Mom: "You'll be fine, go to sleep.

Claire: "I'll go lay in my bed but I am going to stay up all night long."

Mom: "That's fine, good night."

Claire: "I want the six dollars but I don't want my tooth pulled."

30 minutes later still sobbing in bed.

Dad: (Those girls have him wrapped) "Come watch tv by me and mom so you can calm down."

Claire: (30 minutes into watching tv) "Will you still give me six dollars if I let you pull my tooth?"

Dad: (Almost too happily agrees.)

So that night Claire got six dollars, got to stay up 2 hours past her bedtime, and got a visit from the tooth fairy. What a deal.

Best Buds for Life...or else.

Well these two little guys finally got to meet each other last night. I know they're as ecstatic about it as I am. :) Rainier is sporting the orange Halloween and then there is baby Squire on the right in blue. Squire is Erika's son (you know my great friend who takes the great pictures?). Anyways we went through pregnancy woes together, nested together, and probably, ate out at lunch way too much together, but the best, and probably the funniest thing is that we were in the hospital together, luckily not in the same room, but just a few doors down. :) I was even able to see baby Squire just a short while after he was born. I told Erika I could hear her screaming from my room, but she didn't believe me and I guess she shouldn't since she really didn't scream at all. Dang it!

Anyhow Squire was born the evening before Rainier, and was a good 2 pounds heavier. Everyone kept on telling me how tiny Rainier was and how much bigger Squire looked then him, I wouldn't say I didn't believe them its just hard when you see one little baby away from the next. They all look tiny. So here is the comparison 3 weeks after being born, I'm wishing we would have laid them out on a blanket or something to get the full affect. It's so funny. Anyhow I have now officially decided that they just have to be best buds no matter if they like it or not! Don't you agree?

Bare with me while I bare my emotions.

As most of you know, I am doing this blog primarily as a family journal, I'm not the best at pulling out my little notebook and scribbling down what's going on in our lives. That's why I love the aspect of blogging just being able to download pictures, and then instantly write about them while they're fresh on my mind really has been beneficial to me. I plan on having this made into a book after a year and I believe it is something we will all cherish.


My mom died when I was just about 16 and I have to say her journal lacked a bit, not from beautiful stories, or incidences, but from days to years, she wrote in it sporadically, and now having her gone, makes me crave for more information. I was a selfish teenager when she passed away and I didn't have the 'know' to ask her the hows and whats on life. That is why I have now committed myself to writing a little personal information in this blog, and hope that you'll bare with me why I do, so that my children might not only know of the fun things that happened in their childhood, but also some of the things their mom was thinking while all of these beautiful things passed along.




Every time after having a child, I go through a small period of time, where I can't get back into the swing of things. I don't mean the swing of dishes, running around etc, I mean the swing of habits I had before: favorite TV shows, music going while driving, talking loudly, and probably on my part too obnoxiously, etc. Maybe its post traumatic stress disorder, but mostly I think it's the fact that I am holding a little bit of heaven and I don't want to taint it with outside influences, I want to hold to that special little feeling for as long as possible. And so it is, I
probably turn into a boring little woman, staring constantly at my newborn, and thinking of how I am going to better myself for this little person in my life. I am grateful for this sacred time in my life, I feel closer to the Lord, closer to my family, and really use it as a time for retrospection.

This past week Thomas was able to stay home with me, it was fabulous. My best friend with me twenty four seven while we bonded with our newborn. You should see how he looks at that boy, how he already strives to protect him and to make him happy, how he whispers into his ear and already longingly wants Rainier to 'play' with him already. It melts my heart, and makes me eternally grateful to our Heavenly Father who has given this godly power to have children on this earth. Thomas and I ran a lot of errands together, went to lunch a lot, and quite frankly slept probably a bit too much, but it was great to do it together, it was great for me to be babied and feel my husband excited to be with both his son and me.





As I was thinking back on this pregnancy and how difficult it seemed to be for me, I'm not sure if it's because it's my fourth, or because I'm older, or probably more likely I'm more spoiled than ever (that's your fault Thomas) :). But it was hard on me. I found myself praying to Heavenly Father a lot during it, asking for strength, asking for understanding, and asking to be understood by others and I always felt my prayers being answered. Whether it was by Thomas' listening to me cry uncontrollably about ridiculous things and asking me if I needed an ice cream cone, or him cooking dinners and cleaning for me, I always felt that the Lord was close by and knew what I needed, and provided how ever small and petty it may be.

During my labor and delivery, I again felt sub par, you would think that this being my fourth I would feel confident and secure. This time was different than the others, I was in more pain, I was nauseous and it lasted quite a bit longer than the others. During this process I asked for pain medication since the anesthesiologist was in surgery, and they gave me some to ease the pain. I never do well on pain medication and let me just say I was in Dr. Seuss land for a while, until it wore off and then I was able to get an epidural. As the drug wore off and I was coming more with it, I immediately began feeling inadequate, wondering why tons of ladies can do this with no drugs at all, including the epidural, and I can't even come close to doing it drug free. It bothered me so much and as I pondered and prayed about it I was overwhelmed with the feeling of security and extreme love and the thought that I truly believe came from our Heavenly Father, "It's okay how you bring my children into this world, you are doing what I asked of you and all will be well." I want to bare my testimony, to my children, that our Heavenly Father does hear our prayers, that he knows us personally, and only wants the best for us.

Like Father Like Son

I discovered this during nap time, my two men sleeping just alike.

Aunt Carrie

Aunt Carrie came to town to see Rainier and to help out.

This meant making cookies.

Yummmmm, Yummmmm. The girls love sprinkles can you tell?

Rides to school in her convertible rental. Fun, fun! The girls felt so cool.

Lot's of holding my cute, cute, baby boy.

8 am Sonic Diet Cokes with cherry and lime, and of course, lots and lots of fun.

I love you sister, thanks for coming to visit and take care of us!

Grammy

The girls and I were feeling a little blue this week because Grammy left. (Thomas' mom) She flew into town just in time to be the first one to visit Rainier, and just in time to help us all recover from this great little change in our lives.

The girls loved having Grammy here to take care of them. She got them up every morning for school, got them breakfast, packed their lunches and snacks and took them to school. Then she would pick them up from school, get them snacks, help them with homework, read them books, sing songs with them and have a delicious dinner waiting.

I loved having Teresa here taking care of me. She allowed me to sleep in, was great company during the day, gave great advice and saw to my every need. She did a ton of laundry, a ton of dishes, a ton of sweeping, and I am sure a ton I am not even aware of.

During the week Alli had to write about family traditions at school and this is what she wrote. It sure makes me happy that grammy was always on their minds.

TRANSLATION:

My family tradition

Every time a baby is born my grandma comes because she was a nurse.

Teresa said she sure is glad she was a nurse so we would allow her to come. :)

I really feel so blessed to have married into such an awesome family. They have accepted me as one of "them" from day one. How lucky am I that I have a mother in law that I actually enjoy and look forward to spending a week with?

Thanks Teresa for all that you did for us, and thanks to the Gearhart kids for sharing your great mom with me.