Dear Claire,I've been thinking of you lots today. You were up last night in the middle of the night with what you said was a "pounding headache." You looked pale and fragile and my heart ached for you a bit. I hugged you, pulled you in close and rubbed your back, massaged around your shoulder blades, rubbed my thumbs on your neck, trying secretly to check your lymph nodes for swelling. I gently rubbed your temples and the ridge of your nose, then I scratched your head for a bit. The thought came to me that I haven't done that in awhile, you know, babied you a bit. How sad...my heart again ached, this time for me. I'm sorry Claire, I'm sorry I forget to set time aside just for you. Sometimes I shoo you away for asking too many questions, for being too loud, for getting on my nerves, or on your sisters nerves, for arguing with me, for talking back and really when I sit back and think about it, those are the times you probably need a little extra love the most. Forgive me my sweet pea. I try, I worry, I pray, about you. Your strong little personality is different than mine, I don't think like you, I don't feel like you, I don't work like you... but I love you more than you would ever know Claire.
You are my sweet, my strong, my beautiful girl Claire. You are strong willed and knowing and I like you just the way you are. You're smart you know, your teacher emailed me last semester 3 times in one day, each time notifying me that you once again scored the highest in your class on some standardized testing for each category. You make me proud Claire. You Claire are a dear sweet girl, and I will do better by you. Will you do better by me? Let's try.
Love Always,
Mom
3 comments:
You're the best mom!!! Clair is a lucky girl.
Such a sweet and heartfelt letter.
You a very in touch with their feelings, good thing they have you and dear sisters to keep them safe.
Last night Noah was having a massive fit so I took him into his room for a timeout, and rather than leave him there, I laid down next to him on the bed and told him about when he was a baby. He got really quiet and slowly started to smile, then started asking questions. And I thought "I'm not doing enough." We have this new baby that takes all my time, but my other kids still need me. Motherhood is hard.
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